Photos of a Growing Family

I made these scrapbook pages for my parents for Christmas:

Aargh!

We have been driving natural gas cars for the past several years in order to save our planet and our pocketbooks (the gas costs only 1.50/gallon and they are non-polluting). However, we needed a bigger car in order to get all our four children in the backseat and the only natural gas options were enormous vans and suburbans.  Natural gas minivans do not yet exist, although we hear that one in development.  So we got the only less gigantic alternative fuel vehicle in the market that would seat our kids in back, the toyota highlander, which is a hybrid electric mini-SUV.  Toyota hybrids have had a lot of well-publicized recalls and ours was no exception.  We bought it with two recalls already on it.  However, the Toyota people have mastered recall customer service. My kids thoroughly enjoyed the recall repair experience.  The dealership was equipped with a pirate-theme playground, coin-free arcade, wi-fi, multiple big screen TVs, and complementary popcorn, danishes and hot chocolate.  Moreover, all the kid-friendly amenities were located far, far away from the more grown-up lounges with computer stations, so I didn't have to worry about my kids bothering people.

Baby Blessing Photos

A Conversation in Ancient Maya

(Mayan Contractor stands over a circular stone calendar, holding the
final piece.)

Mayan Bureaucrat
How's that calendar coming?

Mayan Contractor
I am just laying the last stone.

Mayan Bureaucrat
You've built it backwards!

Mayan Contractor
What are you talking about?

Mayan Bureaucrat
It's supposed to spiral outwards, not toward the center.

Mayan Contractor
Hey, I was just following orders. What difference does it make, anyway?

Mayan Bureaucrat
If you spiral toward the center, we'll run out of space and the
calendar will end.  You'll have to rebuild it.

Mayan Contractor
If I build it twice, I charge you double.

Mayan Seer
Hark! I have seen a vision. Do not rebuild this calendar, for behold,
I foresee that the days we measure will stop with the calendar.

Mayan Bureaucrat
(Quaking with fear) The world is going to end on that day?

(Mayan Contractor drops the stone and backs away.)

Mayan Seer
Of course not.  That's nuts.  I envision that in that day, stone
calendars will be obsolete, replaced by smart phones.

Mayan Contractor
Smart whats?

Mayan Bureaucrat
Never mind.  We're out of budget and I don't want to chisel and route another memo. Stone tablet memos are heavy. 

Mayan Contractor
What about the backwards spiral issue?

Mayan Bureaucrat
Not my problem.  I'll be retired before this calendar ends.

Friends in High Places

We have yet to figure out why, but my little office somehow made it onto the Obama Christmas card mailing list.  We gloat about it to the other Department employees, who are not cool enough to correspond with the White House.